Another stay in the ICU - but back home already after five days!

Mike was recently admitted to the ICU for the second time due to pneumonia. This happened after he aspirated his food again, which is an ongoing risk because of his traumatic brain injury. His swallow mechanism simply doesn’t work the way it should. On top of that, he can’t sit fully upright because severe vertigo makes him uncomfortable, and eating while leaning back in his wheelchair makes swallowing even harder.

Another challenge is that Mike can’t move his body the way most of us can to cough effectively. He’s unable to clear phlegm on his own, which makes infections more likely and is how he ends up back in the ICU.

People often ask me, “How is Mike doing?” It’s a hard question to answer. The most honest answer is: the same. When people ask if he’s going to improve, the answer is no.

What we can do is continue to show him that he’s loved.

I try not to beat myself up for not visiting as often as I’d like. Between being a single mom to two busy adolescents part of the time, running my company as its only full-time employee, and my commitment to social advocacy and creating safe spaces for queer people, life can be a lot. I also know Mike would want me to be doing these things.

If you’re looking for a way to support him, one simple idea is to write Mike a letter. You can include a photo of yourself if you’d like.

He can read. Large, clear fonts work best. Handwritten notes are great, or you can print something out. A short note or a story about your day or your year is perfect. Mike genuinely feels joy for others and loves hearing about their lives.

If you’d like to send something, message me and I’ll share the mailing address.